Hitman

It's pretty much an accepted fact that movies based on computer games suck.

Which is really annoying, especially when the game is considered a classic.

Because all anonymous hitmen have unique, easily recognisable weapons.

I'm going to give some full disclosure here, I never played the games. I tried to, but let's just say that I didn't get along with it.

In that I repeatedly got killed by the chef.

Anywho, other people loved the game series so much that Hollywood decided to make a film based on it.

Die Hard

There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who think Die Hard is a Christmas movie. And apparently there is a second type of person, but I don't associate with people like them.

People say he's gotten big-headed recently.

This movie is awesome and I'm going to spend far too much time explaining why.

Despicable Me 2

During my last review we saw a story about a supervillain learning the importance of love via the rather daft plot mechanic of adopting three orphan girls.

And the world was forever changed when it was introduced to the Minions.

I promise you that the movie is still about Gru.

Anyway, now that Gru has a family the writers thought it was time for him to get a love life. Even if those two things normally happen the other way around.

So, let's have a watch of Despicable Me 2 and see if it's as good as the first one.

Despicable Me

When it comes to family friendly CGI movies there are two big players. Pixar and Dreamworks, with no real competition. Oh sure, there are other studios, but none have ever really made it big. Mostly due to being terrible (Try watching anything by Blue Sky and you'll see what I mean).

But in 2010 a new player burst onto the scene, Illumination Entertainment.

And despite seemingly coming out of nowhere, they had a massive hit with Despicable Me.

No, the weird yellow person isn't the main character.

As you may be able to tell, a certain breed of little yellow beings stole the show. These guys are called Minions and if you haven't heard of them, can I come and live under your rock?

These guys are everywhere, from duvets to Tic-Tacs.

But dismissing the cash-cow that are the Minions, does the rest of the movie hold up?

Well, there's only one way to find out. Grab your goggles, jump into your overalls and paint your faces yellow, it's time to get despicable.

Dawn of the Dragonslayer 2

I don't know who is designing the DVD covers for this series, but they really need to stop.

Doesn't exactly scream "Quality entertainment".

That two-headed dragon not only looks terribly rendered, but it doesn't even appear in the movie. Instead they re-use the design from the first movie.

Speaking of which, the first movie turned out to be much better than the cover led us to believe. Considering the cover for this film is even worse than the original, can this movie follow it's predecessor and deliver something enjoyable?

Well, let's begin the review and find out.

Dawn of the Dragonslayer

I have a bit of a confession to make.

When I first started this blog my intent was to simply review every DVD that I owned at the time, in alphabetical order.

However, since then I've found that I enjoy reviewing bad movies slightly more than I enjoy reviewing good movies.

As such I've gotten into the habit of buying movies that look like they would be bad. Chanbara Striptease, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the Dark Knight being prime examples of this philosophy. bad movies that make for good reviews.

And that explains how I came to possess this particular movie.

Look at the dragon's face.

So after buying it (In a double pack with the sequel) I sat down and watched it.

But it turned out to be actually pretty good.

It's no Lord of the Rings, but then it had about 0.01% of the budget.

But for what it is and what resources they had, it's entertaining.

So, let's begin.

Dark Shadows

Everyone knows that Twilight ruined vampires for everyone. It turned these ancient blood-sucking terrors of the night into overly-emotional boyband wannabes that sparkle.

Surely legendary film director Tim Burton can bring some respect back to these once-feared prowlers of the dark?

It seems like a match made in heaven. Burton's love of Gothic sets and gloomy method of storytelling should gel perfectly with Nosferatu.

Turns out no.

Instead, it's just plain boring.

AKA Johnny Depp: The movie.

How did this happen? How did this seemingly perfect combination go so wrong?