Thursday, 19 January 2017

Red Reaper

If you've never heard of this movie, I wouldn't blame you.
This is one of those movies where you see the DVD cover and you just know it's going to be painful to watch.
And this is the better version.
That rechead up there is a woman named Tara Cardinal, who not only starred in this movie, but also wrote, directed and produced it.
You can tell there this is going.
But there's worse.
One of the executive producers is a guy named Uwe Boll. If you've not heard of Uwe Boll then let me tell you what he's famous for.
1; Using German tax loopholes to screw investors out of money.
2; Making atrociously bad action movies such as Bloodrayne.
3; Challenging film critics to boxing matches so that he can beat them into submission.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Yes Man

I'm not really sure what to say about this movie.
I mean, it's not a bad movie by any means. But nothing really sticks out about it.
After all, if you ask someone to name their favourite Jim Carrey roles, Carl Allen doesn't often get remembered, let alone mentioned.
Who man?
So let's have a look at it and see if I can find anything worth discussing.

Thursday, 5 January 2017

The Snow Queen

Everybody is aware of the Disney smash-hit Frozen.
However, a surprising amount of people didn't realise that it was based on a fairytale by Hans Christian Anderson, titled The Snow Queen.
And Disney weren't the only people who attempted to adapt this classic tale.
Russia got there a year earlier.
And with less budget.
It's interesting to note that while this movie came out in 2012, it was released on DVD almost immediately after Frozen broke records. It even has the tagline 'The tale that inspired Frozen'.
So let's have a look and see if this movie can stand on its' own merits or not.

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

Following the phenomenal success of the first Equestria Girls movie, Hasbro decided to follow it up with a sequel the following year.
They named it Rainbow Rocks.
Presumably because Rainbow does, in fact, rock.
However, this time around they decided to release some cinematic shorts during the run-up.
So I'm going to quickly cover those before diving into the movie proper.

Thursday, 18 August 2016

Equestria Girls

I will say without shame that I am what is known as a 'Brony'.
That's short for 'Bro who likes pony', as in the little girls' cartoon about magical talking ponies.
It did take me a long time to get over the fact that it is My Little Pony, but the simple fact is, it's really freaking good.
And yes, they did make it into a movie.
The movie is about magical talking ponies, but it's also about high school girls with magical powers.
It took a serious turn into weirdsville.
Not only that, but it got a theatrical release too.
So let's take a look at this thing.

Thursday, 11 August 2016

The A-Team

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them maybe you can hire:
The A-Team.
Wait, wrong A-team!
Let me be perfectly honest. I grew up with the original A-Team. George Peppard, Dirk Benedict, Mr. T. and my favourite, Dwight Schultz.
You may know them better as Hannibal, Faceman, B.A. Barakus and Howling Mad Murdock.
But that show is from the Eighties, so naturally when 2010 rolled around we got a reboot.
Six years later and no sign of a sequel, so let's figure out what went wrong.

Thursday, 21 July 2016


If I were to say the phrase "Let's get down to business", what would you instantly think of?
Assuming you hadn't read the title of this review, you'd still think of Disney's Mulan.
The only Disney Princess willing to be seen without her makeup.
This movie is classic and amazing and I'm going to explain to you why it's classic and amazing.